Shopping with Wrap: The Pink Jersey Edition.

You know, I really dream of the day when I don’t have to criticize the NHL merch. But I am a person who is rarely content and often finds things to complain about. Which is great, because more blog material. It perhaps sucks for you, because you probably want me to get a new schtick by now. Hush I am carving out my niche, mmmkay? Besides, I like to think I have some degree of fashion knowledge. Despite the fact I am sitting here now eating Wheat Thins and wearing sweat pants I bought at Target today for $1.62 and I have on my Tampa Bay jersey. With Tokarski on the back. I am keeping the dream alive. Anyways, onto my current complaint; the thing with girl jerseys.

Some people think I utterly hate and despise pink jerseys. This is mostly fact. However my exception to the rule is when a team wears them to raise breast cancer awareness. Or the sale of merchandise benefits breast cancer charities or research. You see? I have a kind of have a heart after all. In fact, tonight my junior team will be playing on pink ice, with pink skate tape and stick tape. But I am not happy. Why? Because I don’t think they are doing enough for the cause. I want the boys to wear pink jerseys. I am pretty sure their  jerseys would look flyyyyy if they were black with pink. Those jerseys could then be auctioned off and money would be raised for one of my favorite causes. But no, I am dissatisfied. I think back to the junior team in October who’s name I am blanking on, they dyed their hair magenta and went all out. That’s what I want to see. I even dyed my hair in October, a vivid Anime-esque magenta. When someone asked me why it was that color I was happy to tell them “for breast cancer awareness month.” And there would be people who said, “I didn’t know that was going on now.”

My problem is the NHL merch that is pink, people assume money from the items is going to a cause, when it’s not. And if it was, I am pretty sureeeee the NHL would make me aware of it. But that’s the thing, people commonly associate the powder pink with the cause. Which is cool with me. I bought my mom a rad KitchenAid stand mixer in THE pink because I knew 50 bucks was going to benefit Susan B Komen. Maybe the NHL doesn’t need to make breast cancer their cause, but I am a believer in using power for good instead of evil.

But what do we girls get out of the NHL? Jerseys that look like this. Ah the Silver Ice jersey. Because the grey and pink, the blue and grey and the white with sugar glitter wasn’t enough. No, the sugar glitter was not an invention on my part. It’s in the product description. But yes, a silver emblem on a white jersey is going to look AHHHHHMAZING when that dude dumps his nacho cheese on you on accident because he is totally schlitzed. The jersey is too tame. It whispers. It lacks the loud declaration and boldness I expect with team colors. I do not allow passive fandom. You bought the jersey, wear it with pride. Why does the NHL think we are all a bunch of delicate little flowers? It’s so not the case….