Shopping with Wrap: It’s in the Bag Edition.

chavtastic.

chavtastic.

Hey, you know the price for that gauuuuudy monstrosity? 324 dollars (roughly 4.32 pairs of Ugg boots from Nordstrom Rack). That is not a joke. Oh and you can buy now and not pay for 90 days! That’s an amazing idea in this economy…Those are not diamonds. They are crystal diamond posers glued to two license plates. Oh but it is lined in VELVET. You know I am totally a whore for fashion, but even then I can’t bring myself to spend more than 50 bucks on a purse. I am an amazing sale shopper.

Things that fit in this purse;

-iPhone OR jewel encrusted Sidekick 3

-prescription for Valtrex.

-overpriced lipgloss

-a mirror and one razor blade

-card for tanning minutes

-singles and a gstring

-one compact Tampax Pearl

-condoms

-a spare belly ring

-Miley Cyrus perfume

ASHTON’S COOLPIX!

-A game ticket maybe…

Other cool shit I could buy with 324 dollars.

-Uhhhhhh. Uhmmmmm. How about a REAL hockey jersey?

-I could buy a fuckton of Dunkaroos.

-Rent a bouncy castle, cotton candy machine and a dunk tank for like a 3 day carnival weekend. [Bonus, can charge neighborhood children and make money back.]

-A nameplate ring. With my Wu Tang Clan name.

-A Bose sound system?

-Snuggies. For me and all my friends.

-SlapChops. ShamWow Vince is fighting Scientology!

-Buy nearly an entire season of hockey with my boys.

-Some fly new kicks.

-A rad tiny dog I could carry in my purse even though I would never do such a thing.

-Pay Coyote Shivers to sing Sugar High. See below.

sans Zellweger. Duh.