Stanley Cup Final Schedule

Game 1 SAT @ CHI 8ET on NBC

Game 2 MON @ CHI 8ET on NBC

Game 3 6/2 @ PHI 7:30ET Versus

Game 4 6/4 @ PHI 7:30ET Versus

*Game 5 6/6 @ CHI 8ET on NBC

*Game 6 6/9 @ PHI 8ET on NBC

*Game 7 6/11 @ CHI 8ET on NBC

I paused my DVR to swipe this from Versus.

The warm fuzzies

The time of year is upon us to think of others. Regardless of political or religious beliefs and even team affiliations, let’s put our venom aside for the greater good. Times are tough and money is tight, but it is the small gestures that truly matter. Many hockey organizations have charities and fundraisers to benefit their community; from food drives to collections on behalf of Toys for Tots. Support your local hockey club and help out any way you can.

Thank you.

Shopping with WAC

Uhm I’m looking at the Winter Classic merch. And I stumbled upon this hot mess:

Apparently the NHL though they would attempt to be cool and hip and produce something that not even Lady Gaga would wear. I get the idea of the utilitarian purpose. But really? Are you kidding me? It’s a hat and a scarf. And all ridiculous. But what about Boston?

The classic touque! This is a touque right? It’s a pom pom hat! The best kind really. It keeps ears warm and has a wonderful unisex design. The hat is for the Winter Classic without being tacky or obnoxious. It has an understated charm. Plus it’s a classic. I love these hats for when I’m having a bad bang day.

Talented Tongues.

It struck me randomly the beauty of the English language. Specifically the vocabulary of hockey. I love words. I adore being tied up and in the sound of things. I live for witticisms and a snappy repertoire. I enjoy the flexibility of words of flirting and innuendo. But I find something comforting about the verbage of this wonderful sport; fisticuffs, haymakers, and donnybrooks. I haven’t even started on the terms which sound deliciously scandalous; going five hole, soft hands and pine riding.

Though I have to wonder, is there a word for the sound of the skates on ice?

Cautious Clicking.

In addition to the Erin Andrew vid being super creepy, the odds are it contains a virus. You’ve been warned.

Read the article here.

I brought this through customs. Not really.

Alright I am still recovering from my epic journey to Montreal for the draft. It might take a few days to get back on track. So I give you this clip of a guy I filmmed. I was with the gang from Pension Plan Puppets enjoying drinks on the patio of….some pub. And this dude came up to us and started ranting about the Habs. It’s truly wonderful. And the language isn’t safe for work, just a heads up;

Sadly I didn’t record him going on about “Martin Fleury” and declaring “Roberto who?”

did you want me to thank your wife?

Let’s face it, the NHL Awards are basically a trainwreck. But I don’t even think it was one of those fun and amusing trainwrecks. Like I didn’t get the same joy out of that wreck like I do when I watch Rock of Love: Refilling My Valtrex or Charm School: I’m Out on Parole. The awards were more painfully awkward than the British version of The Office. Instead of documenting the actual awards, I did a fashion critique. Really I like to play to my strengths.

The esteemed Chaka Khan (Chaka Khan) really is perfect for Vegas, justtttt not for the NHL Awards. There was a weird age gap thing going on. The awards felt like 1993, when Vegas was dying because it still thought it was the era of the Rat Pack. Robin Thicke is so smooth and lovely, but uhm more for the ladies I think. I was actually a bit shocked the NHL couldn’t scrounge up Nickleback. Or even Poison. Then to have the wonderful Michael Buble, or The Buble as he is refered to among my peeps, to not even sing was just a crime. He was a good present, better than Jeremy Roenick who I was expecting at some point to talk Twitter or the Facebooks and the power of fans.

I decided the NHL should just toss a bunch of us bloggers in a room and provide an open bar and then the awards can be done like The Soup. Instead of yelling It’s Miley! I’ll just be yelling It’s Avery! Perhaps Wysh will dress up like Mankini. And because he’ll be scraping the barrell for some cred, Gary Bettman will drop in and any joke Joel McHale has ever made about Ryan Seacrest will be applicable to the tiny hockey fuhr. Reality Show Clip Time would just be the best of fights of the seasons. Chicks Man would obviously be a montage of NHL WAGS. Oh and because of short attention spans, it’d be a half hour long just like The Soup. And production costs would be like 127 dollars. And there would be Spaghetti Cat.

Why am I not in charge of more things? Is it because I stay up super late and get up around brunchtime?

The one where Sean Avery is on late night television;

Because I am on the west coast I had to wait for the Sean Avery on Jimmy Fallon action. I never thought I would use the words “waiting” and “Jimmy Fallon” that close together in a sentence. Here is Aves;

First, Jimmy Fallon needs to stop giving me reasons to watch him. I mean I watched John Krasinski play the Project Natal and I had a nerd freak out. Then Jimmy played beer pong with Betty White. I mean, he needs to stop it because it’s conflicting with Craig Ferguson and his epic opening monologues. Plus Ferguson has that uber charming Scottish brogue, goofy grin and singing puppets. It doesn’t take much to make me happy.

Avery came out sporting long hair, for him. And a leather Members Only jacket, shirt with a few buttons undone and I THINK he was rocking some JNCO jeans. I know the whole 90s revival is back but that is no excuse for those pants. I was disappointed. He know how to buy the right kind of pants. Ahem. Oh and his shoes had a slight heel. Fallon still looked like a giant next to him. The thing about Aves is yes he is interesting, but he is dull talking. I was distracted by the fact his forehead doesn’t move and he doesn’t seem to show his teeth when he talks. Things like that bug me. Who does he think he is, Victoria Beckham? SEAN IS YOUR FOREHEAD BOTOXED?

Sean talked about going to Bonaroo and hanging with a bunch of hippies. And I’d pay big money to see how he roughs it for a weekend outdoor music festival. He said he was in a tent for some of it and in a bus. Regardless, I want to know how many facial creams he packed. HOW MUCH CREME DE LA MER SEAN?

He talked about his charity which I wanted to high five him for. Since one it involves fashion and two it’s more than just him writing a check. It requires active participation and the charity helps people in transition from prision to rejoining society and making sure they have the proper attire. Nice job, kitten.

Oh and we were all reassured that the new re-programming is still in effect and working wonderfully etc and lessons were learned. Blah blah blah. Boring.

I am now watching the DVR replay of Ferguson and he is imitating a gay, German penguin. He’s wonderful.

Then there was a dorky segment where Jimmy and Sean had to try and hit targets and Jimmy didn’t even know what stick was right handed. But Jimmy lost and Sean won so Jimmy is donating a suit to charity.

But Sean Avery even when subdued is more entertaining and interesting than most all other athletes. But I want to see a different Sean. I want to see the one I’ve read about on Gawker and Page Six. So what we need to do is get him good and liquored up. What do you think he drinks? Patron? He drinks whatever the cocktail waitress in the low cut dress brings him. Then ask him some other questions; like Cutherbert and Phaneuf, really?! What’s Anna Wintour really like? Did you have any Devil Wears Prada moments? Are you the semi gay best friend and do you exploit this position? Are you going to take Karl Lagerfeld’s place when he dies and carry a fan and wear leather pants at all times?

Ok and real talk time girlies; it’s time to fess up. Come forward and admit Sean is one of your secret hockey boyfriends. It’s ok, there is no judging going on here.

taking over the internetz.

There internet is a strange place. I spend a good bit of my day reading it (my google reader usually accumulates 200 items a day) and talking to peeps on gchat, many of them are the ones on my blogroll. There’s the twitterings and the Jezebeling. I write in a million places and waste time on Youtube, watching Bret Michaels get smacked in the face over and over again. It’s a magical place that I love.

Some peeps dislike my kind with our internetz. After all, we are killing just about every creative and entertainment means. Sorry, but if you’re going to give something a name as awesome as “piracy” the chances are high people will commit it. Oh and I am killing newspapers. Nevermind you I am being green to the environment. I am slaughtering and maiming the once sacred medium.

But others have decided the internet is pretty rad after all and it can be utilized to capture specific audiences quickly and on the cheap. This are the awesome forward thinkers seizing technology. Some of the of them are a bitttt overboard. Like, does Bob Villa really need a twitter? Probably not, but it exists. Hockey clubs are joining in the modern times giving blogging with mixed results. But it’s the thought that counts, right? Here I made you a macaroni necklace, mom. Since I’ve had my fair share of issues with a specific hockey club hating on my blogging style, it’s reassuring to see others work being embraced.

So in this long and roundabout way; NICE JOB STEVE DANGLE. Steve scored prime real estate on Leafs On Demand site. Go click on Leafspace. It’s all him. And before you think they just tossed up his youtube vids, nay good sir. They made intros! Dangle is one of my favorite people. He’s got a bit of a following on Youtube with his Leafer Fan Reaction which have branched out into awesome skits with action figures and doing a bit of work for the esteemed Puck Daddy and it’s spilled over into his distinguished eyebrows reppin’ the Leafspace. Really, I think it’s wonderful that Steve’s work is being embraced by a team he loves; it’s modern marketing and communication that is built upon a niche.

It’s a sign of good things to come for those of us typing away on our laptops. It signifies the shift of just how digital this all is. The revolution may not even be televised, but check your DVR. The revolution will come from keyboards.

PS; Oh please believe I am taking in Sean Avery on Jimmy Fallon next Monday. I will be taking fashion notes and hoping the whole Cuthbert thing is referenced. Also, I will only be watching Fallon for Aves, ok? I’m strickly a Conan O’Brien/Craig Ferguson kind of gal.

BUT THIS AIN’T SEAWORLD…

Hey, it’s been a while babes. But let’s look at what the NHL Shop has been up to. They are totally on vacation and phoning this all in. Watching I’m On a Boat, apparently. So get your towels out.

I GOT MY….

squint and you can see the logo

squint and you can see the logo

AND MY…

yo where is T Pain?

yo where is T Pain?

The NHL store does not sell mermaids at this time. But really, it will happen sooner or later. And then I will complain about how skanky they look and that they are bad for women and the NHL needs to join this time period. But for now I will go on about these fratastic swim trunks and flippy floppies that are best paired with sixers of Corona, bad tans and wraparound sunglasses. I’m actually surprised there aren’t pink ruffle glitter bikinis with a logo as a pastie and then one on the bottoms covering the hot pocket and retailing for 75 dollars.

This post is a gif o rama and I think that’s what really makes it. Here’s moreeeee;

flippy floppies. duh.

flippy floppies. duh.

I’ll be here tomorrow. With more animated gifs? It’s very likely…

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