Liveblogging an Episode of Hockey Central

We figured this would be a good idea.  To prove a point about how dull the VERSUS NHL Post-game show is, we’ve decided to liveblog the proceedings of an episode last Wednesday.  We hope you enjoy reading as much as we enjoyed watching.  Which is very little.

11:04 PM Tonight’s episode begins especially late, because of a long-running, shootout affair in the game between St. Louis and Dallas, with St. Louis being victorious.  That said, there were 13 other games in the NHL tonight, therefore we should have a decent amount of time for Hockey Central.  Plus, the program coming up next is Caddyshack.  We think you’ve probably seen it before, and if you haven’t, you have no reason to watch a sanitized version.

Our participants tonight are Bill Patrick, Keith Jones, Brian Engblom and Darren McCarty.  Mac has been invited back after a stint during Monday night’s Detroit-Nashville game.  He isn’t great, but he fits on this show, so good for him.

11:05 PM Patrick promotes the show as featuring: WSH-BUF highlights, NYI-PHI highlights and PIT-MTL highlights.  It takes Patrick about 40 seconds to explain this.  Jeez.

11:06 PM Patrick comes back from break, promoting the fact that Caddyshack follows the game.  Not one quote from the movie.  Disappointing.

11:07 PM Here’s something I’m not a huge fan of: doing the highlights of the game we just watched before any other game.  Why not save that for later, to keep your local audiences tuned in.

11:08 PM Engblom messes up a highlight, thinking the shootout highlights were coming, when in fact they were showing another look at the game-tying goal.  The studio acts like this is the funniest thing that’s ever happened in that place.  I kind of believe it.

11:09 PM Charissa Thompson chats with Brad Boyes.  Nice.

11:10 PM They’ve apparently brought Darren McCarty to analyze the fights we saw tonight.  He does it pretty straight-faced, and brings a little bit of insight into the art.  Mentions Claude Lemieux as the one guy he wanted to pound.  Then they show the fight the two players had.  Great stuff.

11:12 PM The guys joke about Jonesy being the Don King of NHL fighting.  Okay?  Engblom at one point tells Jonesy to “bite [him]”.

11:16 PM The guys come back from the break with some schoolgirl giggling, and go into breaking down the various highlights of the games.  By the way, the entire post-game analysis of the telecast you just watched for the last 3 hours?  McCarty’s brief spiel on fighting.  Yay.

11:18 PM Mac isn’t terrible with narrating the highlights.  Not any terribler than the other two.

11:21 PM The commercials on Hockey Central always seem to last forever.  Am I the only person who notices this?

11:23 PM Two minutes of highlights and then back to commercials!

11:24 PM At least this was a short break…

11:25 PM After being subjected to this, I kinda don’t want them to ever do a nightly version of this.

11:26 PM Heh, Engblom: “Ryan O’Byrne gets O’Byrne-d big time”.  Well played.

11:26 PM Patrick just goes through some scores of games in progress with no highlights.  If only there were a nightly show that could show them at the end of the evening.  Yes, we’re flip-floppers.

11:27 PM And commercial!

11:29 PM We’re back, and we get a quick highlight of the OT victory for Preds over the Avs, and some more in-progress scores.

11:30 PM And we’re wrapping it up, and Mac seems to have had a great time.  We cut to a weird picture-in-picture of the VERSUS website, and head out previewing Monday night’s game.  Goodnight, VERSUS.  Let’s enjoy Caddyshack!


One Response to Liveblogging an Episode of Hockey Central

  1. Al says:

    I enjoyed reading that less than you watching it. If you want to be lazy, you can re-post the “How to fix Hockey Central” two-part entry from last season. Almost nothing has changed since then.

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