The one where Sean Avery is on late night television;

Because I am on the west coast I had to wait for the Sean Avery on Jimmy Fallon action. I never thought I would use the words “waiting” and “Jimmy Fallon” that close together in a sentence. Here is Aves;

First, Jimmy Fallon needs to stop giving me reasons to watch him. I mean I watched John Krasinski play the Project Natal and I had a nerd freak out. Then Jimmy played beer pong with Betty White. I mean, he needs to stop it because it’s conflicting with Craig Ferguson and his epic opening monologues. Plus Ferguson has that uber charming Scottish brogue, goofy grin and singing puppets. It doesn’t take much to make me happy.

Avery came out sporting long hair, for him. And a leather Members Only jacket, shirt with a few buttons undone and I THINK he was rocking some JNCO jeans. I know the whole 90s revival is back but that is no excuse for those pants. I was disappointed. He know how to buy the right kind of pants. Ahem. Oh and his shoes had a slight heel. Fallon still looked like a giant next to him. The thing about Aves is yes he is interesting, but he is dull talking. I was distracted by the fact his forehead doesn’t move and he doesn’t seem to show his teeth when he talks. Things like that bug me. Who does he think he is, Victoria Beckham? SEAN IS YOUR FOREHEAD BOTOXED?

Sean talked about going to Bonaroo and hanging with a bunch of hippies. And I’d pay big money to see how he roughs it for a weekend outdoor music festival. He said he was in a tent for some of it and in a bus. Regardless, I want to know how many facial creams he packed. HOW MUCH CREME DE LA MER SEAN?

He talked about his charity which I wanted to high five him for. Since one it involves fashion and two it’s more than just him writing a check. It requires active participation and the charity helps people in transition from prision to rejoining society and making sure they have the proper attire. Nice job, kitten.

Oh and we were all reassured that the new re-programming is still in effect and working wonderfully etc and lessons were learned. Blah blah blah. Boring.

I am now watching the DVR replay of Ferguson and he is imitating a gay, German penguin. He’s wonderful.

Then there was a dorky segment where Jimmy and Sean had to try and hit targets and Jimmy didn’t even know what stick was right handed. But Jimmy lost and Sean won so Jimmy is donating a suit to charity.

But Sean Avery even when subdued is more entertaining and interesting than most all other athletes. But I want to see a different Sean. I want to see the one I’ve read about on Gawker and Page Six. So what we need to do is get him good and liquored up. What do you think he drinks? Patron? He drinks whatever the cocktail waitress in the low cut dress brings him. Then ask him some other questions; like Cutherbert and Phaneuf, really?! What’s Anna Wintour really like? Did you have any Devil Wears Prada moments? Are you the semi gay best friend and do you exploit this position? Are you going to take Karl Lagerfeld’s place when he dies and carry a fan and wear leather pants at all times?

Ok and real talk time girlies; it’s time to fess up. Come forward and admit Sean is one of your secret hockey boyfriends. It’s ok, there is no judging going on here.

About wrap around curl
Hi I'm Heather. Call me WAC. Everyone else does.

8 Responses to The one where Sean Avery is on late night television;

  1. Pingback: late night television is amazing. « Wrap Around Curl

  2. 25superstar says:

    he passed because he made fun of Scott Hartnell. That made my night….and the fact that his chest was, like, BURSTING through his shirt after the challenge. lol.

  3. Pingback: Puck Headlines: Wings chronicle their aches; Phoenix fans gloat | Lancilo USA

  4. Archimedies says:

    Can we get a ruling on his hair? I’m so torn, I don’t know what to think about it

  5. firstderivative says:

    I prefer Sean in Mystery, Alaska, but that’s just me.

  6. The hair was entirely questionable.
    His drone voice was so “meh”
    His shirt/jacket/chest was amazing in my book.
    I love that he made fun of himself a little bit when they were shooting.
    I still like him. Yeah I’ve admitted it in the past too. Aves is good in my book.
    End of short thoughts.

  7. loser domi says:

    Sean Avery in interviews always leaves me a bit disappointed. His voice is so…drony and mubly. I kind of expect him to do this Adam Sandler RANDOM YELLING thing, but maybe that’s just me

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: