gunnar stahl is my personal jesus.

For those that know me, even in a vague and bare sense, get that I am composed almost entirely of pop culture. Sure there’s blood and organs. But then there is Heathers and True Life marathons. Quoting Empire Records in everyday conversation and knowing such bits of information like “Johnny Depp plays slide guitar on the Oasis track ‘Fade-In Out.'” Like so many in my age bracket, there is a bit of an obsession with the Might Ducks trilogy. Specifically, the man and the legend; Gunnar Stahl. The Staal Bros. had to change the spelling of their name as not to infringe upon the greatness of Gunnar. Just look at this majestic mane of hair that Kris Letang tries to replicate;

I must confess I am THAT person who at hockey, during a lull, will yell FLYING V or KNUCKLEPUCK. These statements are only appreciated by a small percentage of those attending the game. I’ve snapped at goalies “get back in the pipes!” threatening to tie them to the posts like Greg Goldberg. I think the word “cake eater” needs to be part of the lexicon. The feminist in me loves the fact that the franchise had some rad chicks who relied on talent and not batting their eyelashes to get the job done.

Oh look. A grown up Gunnar Stahl. Real talk time; how many of you would still hit it?

The world needs another hockey movie. And one where alcoholism isn’t a major plot point. My dream day hockey movie would have a script written by super team of awesomeness; Tina Fey, Mindy Kaling, Kevin Smith, Joss Whedon and Seth Rogen. The cast would have any of the following peeps (get ready to IMDB); Tina and Mindy, Jenna Fischer, Jim Krasinski, Rose McGowan, Lindsay Lohan, Paul Rudd, Kat Dennings, Henry Rollins, Emma Stone, Monica Keena, Ethan Embry, Aisha Tyler and maybe if he is available and done being lame; John Cusack. Essentially, it needs to be a crew of hilariousness with the ability to improv, deliver one liners and provide hours of dvd extras.

Also, no one from the Twilight franchise is allowed to be involved. But the hotties from the new Star Trek are welcome to audition.

Seth Rogen is a package deal because he can come with Judd Apatow, Jay Baruchel, Jason Segel, Jonah Hill, Romany Malco, Jane Lynch etc.  The writers, well Smith at least gets hockey, and the ladies wouldn’t let it all melt into a boys club. Picking a director is picky. See this hockey movie in my head is a mostly light hearted comedy, so perhaps the dude who directed Juno, home skillet. And then Quentin Tarantino can come in and direct one scene or something. But the best fit is Jay Chandrasenkar. Final answer.

This is what I do during the day. I cast non existent movies. And sometimes, when I am extra crazy, I plan out a soundtrack too.

About wrap around curl
Hi I'm Heather. Call me WAC. Everyone else does.

7 Responses to gunnar stahl is my personal jesus.

  1. Grrrreg says:

    I have a few ideas for this movie.

    – The plot needs to revolve around a disgruntled zamboni driver, a misunderstood arena DJ, or a mascot guy (by vocation).

    – Tie Domi has to make a cameo (possibly as a villain).

    – As for the soundtrack: Europe’s “Final Countdown”, Van Halen’s “Jump” and most importantly John Mile’s ‘Music” (if we go with the arena DJ plot) all need to be played at some point.

  2. Henry Rollins would be an awesome coach or gritty vet’ran

  3. There also has to be a retro 80’s work montage and florescent spandex at some point.

    I will also frequently tell someone when they are bashing on my team “Hey, I will decide who sucks around here!” No body gets the reference. Need to start a new pop culture hockey phenomenon.

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