I’m only here for the cake.

As a chick, it’s pretty much programmed into my brain to be a bridezilla. I mean, have you been the movies lately? Man, I am supposed to be materialistic, psychotic and generally uncivilized. And I am supposed to ruin my best friend’s life in the process and make my husband elect want to skip town on the day of the blessed affair. Seriously, being that much of a headache is sooooo taxing. I mean, I still have to find time for tanning, manicures and pedicures, picking out ugly dresses for the bridesmaids. What’s a girl to do? Anyway, out of boredom I google image searched “hockey wedding.” And this came up;

she does disdain well.

she does disdain well.

Ok first they need real skates. And not figure skates. And the groom needs a goalie mask I think. And where are the team colors? Blasphemy. It’s called team pride.

You’re right, it will probably be the cake topper for my fake wedding I’m planning. Fingers crossed I end up on one of the wedding reality shows. I’ll be the one shrieking about a custom 8,000 dollar gown with the Chiefs logo and throwing a hissy fit because I want to walk down the aisle to Welcome to the Jungle. Because that opening is just killer.

I’m such a hypocrite.

About wrap around curl
Hi I'm Heather. Call me WAC. Everyone else does.

6 Responses to I’m only here for the cake.

  1. At least if I get a Rangers wedding, I know it will be the only one I have for 50 years. Of course, it will probably be overpriced and ultimately unsatisfying.

  2. I always thought about a ‘Flames’ themed wedding. HIGHLY overpriced, I’m sure a Sutter would attempt to manage the chaos, and when saying our vows a random Canucks fan would stand up and wave a towel and chant “You Suck!”. It would be amazing. But you know the marriage would only last for a year because during the playoff run we’d both get drunk during another over-touted run for the cup, they’d lose, I’d throw salsa and then cheer for whoever had the hottest goalie.

    @Wrap Don’t forget to ask the Chiefs organization for permission to use the logo on your dress or they might show up to your wedding and shut it down… cause you know thats how they roll.

  3. miah says:

    I wanted a Penguins wedding, until my wife’s family accused us of “whining” and “diving”, and pointed out that the only reason we got along so well was because we had been terrible for such a long time and that Bettman rigged our blind date so we could meet.

    Good thing we held out for a traditional wedding and missed out on THAT nightmare!

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