Oh god no please make it stop.

you stop it.

you stop it.

This hat looks like a watermelon. In addition, it also has scratch and sniff technology. I will repeat that last sentence in case you skipped over it. IT IS A SCRATCH AND SNIFF HAT OK? I am worried the NHL will see this and decide they need this merch as well. Soon there will be scratch and sniff pink glitter jerseys that smell like hockey sweat and they will retail for 158 dollars. And broads will buy them and I will once again get on my soapbox and deliver and somewhat feminist rant. I feel a headache coming on. Oi vey. I’m gonna go sit down now.

P.S, I hate the Yankees. Alex Rodriguez may or may not be a slack jawed junk slut.