I wish I could hate you to death.

The world is a depressing place. The economy is beyond collapsing and the corporate executives are getting bonuses and bailouts for putting us all in this mess and the banks are being regrouped and renamed on the daily. There’s the fight for gay rights and the media fervor over the Octomom. Hockey fans may argue about visors and fighting. But we can all be united under the fact that Pierre McGuire is the worst part about hockey. People worry about kids emulating hockey fights. Nay! They should be worried about the violence that McGuire’s voice can incite.

We must band together and stop Pierre McGuire. And I have an idea on how we can do this. McGuire would make some public statement about how unkind the bloggers are and he would never retire from commentating (did I just invent a verb?) unless he was paid. I would counter with, “don’t you make enough money now? how about if in X number of days, if we can raise Y number of dollars for charity, you shut your yap and get off my television, forever? It’s for the children.” And he would have to accept the challenge, otherwise he would seem like a supreme douche who hates sick kids. Also, this would benefit the bloggers because we could show the world we are proactive (not the face medicine) and can get shit done.

Also I challenge anyone to explain why McGuire isn’t that awful and to counter with someone worse than him.


About wrap around curl
Hi I'm Heather. Call me WAC. Everyone else does.

15 Responses to I wish I could hate you to death.

  1. Leafsfan1967 says:

    Me, I’m waiting for the “Down with Joe Beninati” campaign. Now there’s a serious cause a guy could get behind….

  2. Leafer1984 says:

    I will say it. I like Maguire. Sure he is annoying with his “MONSTER!!!!” However, the guy knows hockey. He provides good comments at times, ten times better than any other colour guy I have heard, except for Harry Neale.

  3. BluesFan44 says:

    PM does indeed know hockey. Just ask him — he’ll tell you all about how much he knows for hours and hours and hours…. did you know he used to coach the Penguins? πŸ˜‰

    (J/k with ya… to each his own…)

  4. canadiansportsfan says:

    I also like McGuire, I think he is at his best when paired with Chris Cuthbert and his worst when hes with Gord Miller. His commentating with Emrick and Edzo falls somewhere in between.

    As for current NHL analysts who are worst, Harry Neale, John Garrett, Mickey Redmond, Cassie Campbell, Mike Milbury (only when doing games), I’m sure there are more.

  5. It’s for the children. Clearly y’all hate children. πŸ˜€

    Lepore, close your freaking italic tags!

  6. Quasigenius says:

    Isnt the fact that Emrick and Edzo stick him as far away as possible from them enough proof that he sucks?

  7. arsy5 says:

    In McGuire’s own words “I’m the personification of embelishment when using my verbosity to exponge my feelings on the ice” Well maybe those aren’t his own words but I’m sure he would say something as confusing.
    On a similar note about horrible announcers I was just watching the Jays game and Jamie Campbell may be just as bad as McGuire. His doozy tonight was “DRILLED….popped into shallow center field.” He’s horrible. Cheers.

  8. Moore says:

    God I hate the deuche canoe. What an idea.

  9. J-Buck says:

    There are sooooooooooooo many worse than Pierre, even though it’s ridiculous that he chills between the benches all the time, haha. Not that he’s my favorite, but Jack Edwards of NESN is a loudmouth homer, and a ton of the local FSN announcers are brutal, including FSN-North for the Wild (anti-EVERYONE who doesn’t play for the Wild), the one Hawks announcer “SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE Khabibulin”, and the loudmouthed dude for Versus who’s pro-Caps and pro-Ovechkin (cant remember his name?)

    Bob Cole and Jim Hughson are epic. Drew Remenda for the Sharks can be a D-Bag but he’s decent. Oh, and the MSG guys for the Rangers are good. Harry Neale’s lost his mind, haha.

    Oh, and I’m a CBC man but Marc Crawford messes up soooooooooooooooooooo many names (Dwayne RolAFson, DARCY Regehr, etc)

  10. J-Buck says:


    Latest Marc Crawford-ism

    “Yevgeni NaBACKoff”

  11. Casey says:

    My favourite Pierre McGuire game ramblings (when talking about the Ottawa Senators), “If you have throughbreds, don’t reign them in, just let them loose…” <– That may be the greatest nonsensical uttering in the history of hockey broadcasts.

  12. random guy says:

    I can think of several reasons why someone might “hate” McGuire, but your post contains none. Just jealous or insecure I guess?

  13. Jealous or insecure? Reallllly? You’re playing that card?

  14. BC says:

    There are a lot more broadcasters on the list to get to before I’d rally to get McGuire off the air.

  15. Gettin Cranky says:

    I thought at the start of round 1 that I would be able to watch the Calgary series but noooooo TSN had to ruin it by putting on PM. He continuously yaps about nothing in particular and doesn’t give the play caller a chance to get in a rythm. Then there is the problem with the marbles in his mouth. And who gave him those headphones. Sometimes I watch with the sound off hoping for a wild slapshot into the area between the benches.

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